The Wrestling Guys Analyze Resurrection (S9 W1 RP)

**eldrocks** Thu 24 Apr 2014 - 20:25

SM: Hello everyone and welcome to another season of MWP wrestling and another season of the Wrestling Guys. I'm Scarlett McDermott with my usual partner in crime, Lance Miles.

Lance nods.

SM: Season Nine will be getting underway after we get off the air but before the new season can start, we should get you guys up to date on what happened during Resurrection.

LM: Actually Red, I'd like to forget the unpleasant experience I suffered during the pre-game show.

SM: Well you only had yourself to blame Lance but since this show really isn't about your shenanegans, I'll be happy to start the way we always start and the PPV started off with Nic Nitro, Rebecca Frost....

LM: THE....hottest chick on the planet.

SM: ....and Steven Cobalt. Nic was not pleased with the way things had turned out between the two men, thinking that the deal he made would benefit him immensely, however, the deal was anything but in his eyes. Steven called Nic on his threatening to wrestle him one on one but Nic said that defending the gold mattered more to him.

LM: And Nic's right. The gold is more important than personal feelings. if Cobalt understood that they would be unstoppable as a tag-team.

SM: Lance, Nic said it himself. He had something in mind for Steven that Steven was not on board with.

LM: What being the greatest tag team in MWP?

SM: I'm pretty sure he alluded to something else.

LM: Then you must be really good at reading between the lines Red because I saw nothing to indicate a deeper, darker purpose for Cobalt other than to be the Union champs.

SM: What about the slave thing Lance?

LM: That was Cobalt forcing Nic's hand. Nic only enforced that to get some value for his purchase.

SM: So it's all Steven's fault.

LM: Right first time Red.

SM: Adam Lethal was out to yell at the fans yet again. He said he was tired of the fans jealousy and that he was still unrecognized as a top contender mentioning the Brutal Masters Championship. He then ripped on his opening match opponent Eddy Rosario.

LM: I have to admit, Adam does seem like he's being held back.

SM: Lance, there are a lot of successful wrestlers in MWP and only so many top spots. Unfortunately some people have to be more patient than others.

LM: And what about the lucky and the unworthy. I can name at least three people in the EC match that really don't deserve that shot and he Adam is wrestling Eddy Rosario? Unjust Red.

SM: The match was far more challenging than Adam had envisioned but the match was declared a no contest when a mystery man entered the ring and attacked both Eddy and Adam, ultimately his focused turned solely to Eddy.

LM: From what I could gather, it looks like Eddy was looking to get a fresh start here in MWP when his demons caught up with him. The thing I'm annoyed with is that Adam was collateral damage in this guys wake.

SM: Well Adam may not have deserved the mystery mans attacks but I'm not shedding any tears over Adam's beat down. As for Eddy, I hope that he will be able to face this challenge head on. Lianon was looking for Big Bubba. After both men agreed that they were not friends but that they need to be a cohesive unit Bubba decided to accept Lianon's offer to work out at the gym with him to polish their skills.

LM: Okay, as much as I think both of these guys are boobs, they have the right idea about being a tag team. Cobalt could have learned a lot about the swallowing of pride and be more of a team player.

SM: Why is it always Steven's fault that the tag team is in such disarray?

LM: Because it is. You talk about sacrifices, look at what Big Bubba is sacrificing. He sacrificed a day of spending a couple hundred dollars at the Wendy's dollar menu to work out with Lianon because Lianon would appreciate the gesture and they would be more in tune as a tag team. All Cobalt had to do is let Nic run the show and accept his subordinate role and they would still be champs.

SM: I do admire Bubba's commitment to success Lance but Bubba isn't being treated as a slave and Lianon really wasn't forcing his will on him like Nic had last season.

LM: Damn it Red accept the fact that Cobalt is the reason for their failures.

SM: I'll accept that we'll have to move on. SD Coleman and Cael Wheeler were talking about the EC match as an opportunity of a lifetime. SD believes that it's not about who the best man is but who the smartest man is and by letting the other competitors beat each other senseless, SD believes that will be his cue to winning the R&T title.

LM: so what you're saying is that SD Coleman's plan for being the Rough and Tough Champion is by letting the other men be rough and tough? Wow. If SD Coleman wins the match MWP should change the title name to Sneak and Weak Championship.

SM: You don't think the others aren't thinking along similar lines?

LM: Honestly Red? No. Even Auron is prepared to go all out after his season long siesta.

SM: Well I doubt SD will be able to hide in the match so it's really a moot point. He'll be fighting to win just like the others. Hyperelf was met by a stage hand who politely offered him a donut. Hyper took it as another person wanting him to return to his old ways but he vowed to settle things once and for all.

LM: And so he should. This guys has reinvented himself into a wrestler that I can respect and people want to bring him back down to their level. He understands that the laughs he received as Hyperelf were at him not with him.

SM: I highly disagree Lance. Hyper has a world of talent and the fans loved his quirky sense of humor. He was the exception that you didn't have to have a chip on your shoulder to prove your tough. Now he's just another guy on the roster and that's disappointing.

LM: Just another wrestler who may take the R&T Championship because of this new persona. Brad Locke is the real deal and if he wins he'll have something that makes him stand out without being treated like a clown.

SM: The Union Tag Title Match took place and in a excellent match, Bubba and Lianon were successful in their title defense. Nic was not pleased and ultimately fired Steven. After a slap to the face Steven nailed Nic in the family jewels and hit him with the Backstabber and proclaimed that he quit.

LM: Well first off, I'm not surprised that Bubba and Lianon defended successfully. They were more of a team than Nic and Cobalt and they took advantage of Cobalt's bitterness and ineptitude to gain the vic. Second, Nic fired him before Cobalt could quit. Third, even if Nic didn't fire him, Cobalt is a slave and can't quit.

SM: Well the pretense is finally gone. Both men are back on their own and look for Steven to prove how capable he is in the ring at Nic's expense.

LM: Well good luck with that. Nic isn't going to be happy that he got hit in the pills to say nothing of what THE...hottest chick on the planet Rebecca Frost will feel about such a travesty.

SM: Perhaps relief.

LM: Funny Red.

SM: Kyle Richards was out to talk about his usual spiel.

LM: What's with you with Adam Lethal and Kyle Richards.

SM: They're both jerks. They both proclaim to be better than the rest of us when all they are is better wrestlers. After that they're just like us.

LM: I like Kyle's history lessons as well as his talk about light and steel. He clearly believes to be an instrument off war and you'd be hard pressed to disprove that.

SM: Well good for him. After we heard the announce team argue over who would reign supreme in the Legacy Title match, Jeremy Danielson came out. He was amused that there were some conspiracy theorists who believed he orchestrated the Jayx injury so he could be a one on one match up with Mattamillion Allen. Jeremy used logic to defend himself. He then offered Marissa a chance to win a million dollars by either stumping him or answering a riddle that he gives her. Then he brought out the President of United States to watch the match.

LM: Where do I begin. Well he's absolutely right about not being the architect of Jayx's injury. It wouldn't be smart to eliminate someone who could help weaken your real opponent. Marissa getting a shot at a million dollars is a nice gesture but let's be real. Marissa can barely add 1 +1 let alone another a riddle of Jeremy's or stump him with a question of her own. Third, though I am not a fan of the President of the United States, it was a real coup to get him there. Jeremy is all that and a bag of chips.

SM: Funny how I disagree with everything you said. I think it's quite plausible to eliminate the true threat to the Legacy title, Jayx in this instance, especially if you believe that you can beat Mattamillion Allen. Jeremy is a thinker so it's not beyond the realm of reason that he could set things up in such a way. Ed Dryden and Randy Swofford have proven that on a consistent basis over the season in both MWP and ORW. Second, Marissa is much smarter than you give her credit for and if Jeremy wins and is true to his word then I look forward to Marissa's decision and the outcome, and I am very much a fan of the President of the United States but I wonder how these two are truly affiliated?

LM: Can we agree that Matty is going to have a tough time with Jeremy?

SM: I can agree with that. Hyperelf came out to tell the fans that he is no longer here for their amusement and vowed that if he lost the EC match he would leave MWP, but whatever the outcome he would be doing it as Brad Locke.

LM: Good for him. I don't think he'd have won but taking credit for a loss as Brad Locke is a cool move.

SM: I won't shed any tears over Brad Locke leaving but I will miss Hyperelf dreadfully. A mystery man was on the phone talking about how the fans were eating out of his hand and that phase two of some grand scheme was about to take place.

LM: Damn, what do you think Auron has planned?

SM: Auron? Really? I think we both know who was on the phone.

LM: Uh oh. Another of those insightful moments you get when you have a fraction of the info. There is nothing to tell me who that could be.

SM: Well we know it's either a champion or a challenger hoping to become champion and that would eliminate Nic, Steven, Bubba, and Lianon since that match has already taken place.

LM: That leaves a whole lot of other people and I couldn't fathom a guess as to who it could be so who do you think it'll be.

SM: Jeremy.

LM: You've been waiting a long time to find some kind of fault with him. It could just as easily be Danny Draiman or Chip Morris or Ric Raven.

SM: Intuition Lance. There has always been something off about the guy and this just feels right to me.

LM: You are a suspicious one Red.

SM: The Legacy Championship match was hardly a match as Jeremy dominated pretty much the entire time to become the new Legacy Champion. Jeremy thanked the fans for their support and said that the title was just as much theirs as it was his. He then was true to his word and gave Marissa a chance at the million dollars but she failed to answer his riddle but was willing to make it up for grabs to anybody else.

LM: Wow some phase two Red. Gee I wonder what phase three is for the guy, answering children's pleas for Make A Wish? Evil...pure evil Red.

SM: Okay maybe I was wrong Lance but he still seems to be trying harder than he needs to. Marissa, unfortunately had to get back to work and interviewed Cliff Roxtone who was his usual verbose self.

LM: Damn Red that was harsh. You can't expect Cliff to answer questions when Quentin did all of his talking for him.

SM: I'm pretty sure he can talk Lance. he was just being rude.

LM: Maybe he's tired of the same boring questions Red. Marissa isn't the most inventive when it comes to interviewing.

SM: Whatever Lance. Ric Raven was next who start paraphrasing Poe with his own twist talking about his match with Rehaustykus.

LM: Bless you.

SM: The match for the Primetime Championship took place and thanks to interference from Kyle Richards, Rehaust was able to retain the title.

LM: Well it is a hardcore match so anything went.

SM: It still was a cheap win Lance. If Rehaust used the pipe I would be much better with it because at least he earned the victory under the rules of the match.

LM: Kyle was used by Rehaust Red.

SM: If you say so Lance. Chip Morris was seen and he was going to show people how to take advantage of an opportunity and to made things more sporting by announcing that he would take the first spot in the match so that he would truly earn his victory.

LM: I'm not sure whether to commend him as a true competitor or condemn him as a true idiot.

SM: Well he should get his props for taking the first slot and if he wins he'll truly have earned the title.

LM: Yeah but with talent like Randy, Auron, Brad, and even Dixon to a lesser extent, I don't know how smart it is.

SM: You forgot SD.

LM: No I didn't Red. Besides he'll be in the chamber container waiting for everyone else to beat each other senseless like the coward he is.

SM: Dixon met up with Auron. Dixon wished him luck and the he had the utmost respect for him. Auron reciprocated.

LM: Dixon is as good as out Red.

SM: Why do you say that?

LM: Because despite everything that he did to Randy this season he still is obsessed with the guy. He's more interested in preventing Randy from winning rather than focusing on the win himself.

SM: Just because Dixon made Randy bleed and say Uncle didn't mean that all was forgiven. You can't turn off those type of feelings overnight. You can only curb them.

LM: And he's not doing a good job of it which will cost him the title. Well it's down to three people having a chance to win now.

SM: Danny Draiman talked about his past and thanked the fans for supporting him through the good times and the bad. He talked about his upcoming match with Cliff Roxtone and questioned why he needed Quentin or needed to ambush his opponents but since none of those issues are present he believed it would be a hell of a match.

LM: You see how Danny tries to irritate the BM Champ? He tells him he's an incredible talent on the one hand then questions how he uses that talent.

SM: Cliff is a violent man Lance but Danny is right about his talent level. Cliff doesn't need anyone or to resort to underhanded tactics.

LM: I see no difference between using your hands or your mouth as a weapon like Danny did in his promo.

SM: I'm pretty sure Cliff is a big boy and can overcome the verbal abuse though I didn't really see any abuse in Danny's statements. Ed Dryden was on the phone with Porsche Morrow...

LM: THE....third hottest chick on the planet.

SM: Ed seemed to be finalizing some sort of deal with her. Ed then asked Randy if he was cool with the deal and Randy said yes but asked the same to Ed. After a father/son tenderness moment, Marissa entered to ask about the match....

LM: You are really defending Marissa tonight aren't ya? Marissa tried to make Ed look like a fool by calling him the wrong name and then brought up Randy's two losses like they matter in the grand scheme of things.

SM: I'm pretty sure Marissa is insulted every time Ed calls her Melissa and the two losses thing is a fair question.

LM: You saw how far she got with the name calling and as for the question you know as well as I that Randy tends to mail it in during the season. The PPV is another matter entirely and Marissa would know this if she took the time to research she'd know that and not ask the stupid question.

SM: One day Randy's cavalier manner during the season will catch up with him in time and he will be beaten when it counts the most.

LM: You may be right but I think something tells me that it won't be anytime soon.

SM: Roxtone and Draiman was the next match on the show and after a solid battle the lights went out and two eyes were seen in the ring. When the lights came back on Danny was on the mat and a surprised Roxtone took advantage of the situation and got the three count.

LM: You make it sound like Cliff did something wrong.

SM: On the surface maybe he didn't do anything wrong by the letter of the law but maybe he could've been a bit of a sportsman and gave Danny a chance to recover.

LM: Wow Red, you are really hyper-sensitive today. Cliff did exactly what he was supposed to do and if you asked any of the boys in the back at least 99% of them would have done the same thing that includes your buddies SD Coleman, Big Bubba, Steve Cobalt, and Auron. Lianon might be the only one to do what you suggest but he's an idiot.

SM: I guess I'm just getting tired of the title matches having botched endings. I like to see the two best go at it and win on their own merits.

LM: I doubt that things will change Red. There will always be matches that don't end clean. It's the nature of the beast. You know that as well as I do but right now you seem more emotional than normal.

SM: You're probably right Lance, in either case we now have another mystery in the making. Who attacked Danny Draiman.

LM: Who cares.

SM: I'm pretty sure Danny does at the very least as well as a good number of fans. Mattamillion Allen should also care as it was implied that he would be next on the list and could be a target tonight.

LM: Good point Red.

SM: Quentin was in his office commenting to himself about the things that have transpired during the PPV up to this point, forcing him to take a pill to calm his nerves or ease his headache. He hoped that nothing would ruin the R&T match.

LM: I have to agree with him on the R&T match but he shouldn't get to wrapped up in the things that go on during the show. Extracurricular activity is always going to happen.

SM: Dixon met up with Chip Morris where he said that would be no time limit in this match. Chip made light of the situation and walked off.

LM: What a dick move by Dixon. The dude must have a memory of an elephant and can't let go of those memories either. Just accept the time limit draw and move on. Be happy with making Randy say Uncle and move on, but he can't and that'll be his downfall.

SM: Finally we get to the last match of the night. The Elimination Chamber match for the unification of the R&T and EA title. Chip Morris and SD Coleman started the match....

LM: Good. No hiding for Coleman.

SM: With both Morris and Coleman fight toe to toe the third member out of the gate was Hyperelf.

LM: Damn it Red it's Brad Locke!

SM: Hyperelf started beating on Chip badly. SD as planned disappeared for a time until he could take advantage of a situation. He got that opportunity and started to weaken Hyper. After a brief exchange between Hyper and Coleman, Coleman was then able to focus his attention on the clearly injured Morris and finished him off.

LM: Okay that was some good strategy by Coleman to get rid of Morris.

SM: Fourth person to exit was Dixon who immediately got into trouble with Hyper.

LM: I told you that Dixon would get in trouble with his single minded attitude.

SM: After a three way exchange between the three men, Hyper started to show his training was paying off as he was in control of most of his exchanges with Coleman and Dixon. With Coleman a bloody mess, Hyper executed a Hyperventilation that finished SD off.

LM: Coleman's was thinking he could hide in an enclosed space. When that failed he had rely on his skill and there he was totally outclassed by Locke.

SM: Fifth out was Auron who proceeded to make a bloody mess out of Dixon. Hyper tried to take advantage of Auron but the R&T Champ was ready and easily countered to take control of him as well.

LM: Not surprising that Auron would be in control. You can never question his ability in the ring.

SM: Auron was successful in making both Dixon and Hyper crimson masks when he landed a Guardian Slash on Hyper. The ref was about to eliminate Hyper but he shook it off, but it was short lived as Dixon went off book to perform a Good Luck in Your Future Endeavors knocking Hyper out again. This time the ref decided to eliminate Hyper.

LM: A gallant effort and it took to big time moves from two men to take him out.

SM: Finally it was time for Randy Swofford to enter the fray. Randy went right for the R&T champ but was countered after only a couple offensive flurries. Dixon tried to get back in the match by clothelining Auron but Auron dodged it and then landed a Guardian Slash. Randy saw a chance to get rid of Dixon and after sending Auron to the mat he quickly pinned Dixon leaving Auron in the way of the Unified Title.

LM: Bye Bye Dixon.

SM: Randy's moral victory was short lived and Auron made a furious onslaught reeling the EA Champion.

LM: Auron needed to do this before Randy could respond. A smart move given the circumstances.

SM: Randy was Auron's third victim to bleed heavily and to feel the Guardian Slash. Randy made a weak attempt to counter Auron's onslaught but felt yet another Guardian Slash. Auron stood over a battered and beaten Randy Swofford.

LM: I had to agree with Becksford and Dempsey on this. Auron was clearly savoring the moment and if it were anyone else other than Randy Swofford I'd have busted on him for showboating but to leave Randy in the he was in even I could help but be impressed by his offense but then I had to get back to reality and ask why not pin him now.

SM: Auron finally did get into a pinning position yet Randy kicked out. Now I could've sworn that the ref landed on three but he acted as if Randy did kick out a fraction before.

LM: It was really, really close Red. I thought it was three myself.

SM: Auron seemed frustrated and attempted to land a third GS on Randy but this time Randy managed to block it shocking the world as he managed to land a Brainbuster stunning Auron. Randy hurried to put on Breathless Adoration which he successfully held on to for an extremely long time. Longer than anyone I can remember by a very wide margin.

LM: You said it Red. Auron had no answer for the move but refused to tap. It seemed like the move was held forever.

SM: Finally Auron could no longer fight the pain and with three arm drops, the ref eliminated Auron and your Unified Champions was Randy Swofford.

LM: I have to admit Red, that may have been the match of the year, let alone match of the night. I didn't like Auron as a GM but as a wrestler he is indeed a legend and I salute him.

SM: I agree Lance. He can be upset at the result but he cannot be upset about the effort and as for Randy Swofford. I am not a fan of Randy Swofford but this match not only reaffirmed him as a major player in the industry as Ed claimed he was two seasons ago, it also cemented his legacy as future legend in the making. This was a career defining match and it was a privilege to have been able to see it live.

LM: You said it Red. The question is will Auron want a rematch and would Randy accept the challenge?

SM: Honestly Lance, I doubt that Auron will want a rematch at least until he recovers to a point where he can compete the way he did at Resurrection. As for Randy. He may be a lot of things but he will not turn down a challenge from anyone. Perhaps we'll get a glimpse of what is to come tonight as we end the show on a very high note. For Lance Miles, I'm Scarlett McDermott. We're down for the three count but we will get our heat back next week. Enjoy the show folks.